Favorite Christmas Poem

T’was the Night before Christmas
Redneck Edition
 
 
 Twas the night before Christmas when all through my place,
I heard such a stirring that I grabbed my gun and a can of mace.
I ran to my window I know it passes all reason,
But I saw nine little reindeer and they were all in season.
I pulled up my gun and it might sound mean,
But what I did then was a deer hunters dream.
It was all so very simple I could have hit them with my eyes closed,
Cause the front deer had a light right smack on his nose.
Down Dasher, down Dancer, down Prancer and Vikcen, (two with one shot)
Down Comet, down Cupid, down Donner, and Blitzen they fell dead on the spot.
Then all that was left and might sound crazy,
Was the one with the light but I got him it was easy.
Then up on my rooftop that little sled crashed,
Presents went everywhere most of them smashed.
Boy was that driver upset; I think he blew a fuse,
They called him a saint but my, the language he used.
He stomped toward the chimney with all the strength that he had,
That’s when I knew this fat guy was mad.
He was coming for me it all happened so quick,
Then I pulled up my gun this would be the end of Saint Nick.
Down the chimney he came my nerves almost froze,
Then I pulled the trigger and up the chimney he rose.
He was a screaming and yelling as he flew out of sight,
And I am extremely glad to inform you he aint been heard of since that night.